Elephants 🦣

  

There is a saying that the best way to clear the air in a conversation is to start early by talking about any elephants that are in the room. 🦣 🦣

For those who have not heard that phrase, it refers to any topic that is on a person’s mind but may be uncomfortable bringing up and talking about it. 

For instance, if it is 30º outside and I am the only one wearing cutoffs by the fire ring while visiting with friends, others may be thinking a few different thoughts about me but may not want to bring it up for whatever reason. That would be “the elephant in the room.”

Or, another example could be when I am having breakfast with others and I put syrup on my sunny side up eggs. There may be thoughts, either positive or negative, that are unsaid even though others really want to talk about it. That would be “the elephant in the room.”

I had that experience the other day when Cole, Sharon and I were having a meal at a restaurant. It happened to be on October 24th. That happened to be Joyce’s birthday. I know I wanted to bring it up a few times in conversation, but each time I was going to, feelings started to well up inside of me that stifled the attempt. I did not know if Cole and Sharon were aware or if they were aware and perhaps were not comfortable talking about it. That ended up being the “elephant in the booth” that day. It was not a bad thing. It was just a thing that reminded me that this was the first of the “first times without” that are going to be happening in the near future. There is going to be Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, our anniversary, and other days that were special to us.

What I did. though, was reach out to Cole and Sharon and through text discussed it with them. I did that because I needed to talk about that elephant. With other firsts on the horizon, I know that it is going to be easier in the future to enter the conversation. It was just a matter of opening that first uncomfortable door. 

Joyce and I had always been proponents of open communication. The gist of this whole post is to encourage anyone out there to be strong enough, even though it may be uncomfortable, to broach whatever elephant subject that needs to be talked about. It is a time for sharing perceptions and feelings. And it can lead to a catharsis that makes moving forward in life easier. It is also a time that can help develop a more positive understanding of personal relationships.

So, for those who may be wondering, I am doing okay. I am making my way through the grieving process, as we all do, two steps forward and one step backward. I have always been a person to live one day at a time and that has definitely helped. And when the next “first time” event happens I am better prepared to greet that elephant, deal with it, and move forward.🦣